The Waiting Begins

Today is the day I’m counting as the official date we began waiting.

The letters and copies of our profiles that we sent off to adoption attorneys in our state should have landed on their desks sometime last week. But since I don’t have high hopes for being matched through an attorney, I figure the real wait began today, when our profile went live online.

We got a cell phone that we’re dedicating to the adoption process, and a 1-800 number that forwards to the cell phone. So we’re all set.

I figure the profile went live sometime around 2:30 p.m. When R got home from work at 5:45 p.m., he found me sitting on the couch, staring intently at the phone.

“What are you doing?” he asks, although I suspect he already knew the answer.

“It hasn’t rang yet,” I reply. I'm still focused on the phone, as if letting it out of my sight for just a moment will cause it to suddenly sprout little legs. Then it would sneak away to play a game of hide-and-seek with me, prompting me to tear apart the house looking for it before it dawns on me to dial the number and let the ring lead me to its secret hiding place. But I digress. Back to the conversation.

“Noooo,” R responds, his tone implying that I'm being perhaps a wee bit unrealistic.

Then I see the sudden flicker of realization in his eyes, quickly replaced by a look of fear, as it occurs to him that the crazy nut who took up residence in my body when we began infertility treatments hasn’t disappeared after all - she just took a temporary vacation.

Until now.