18 Years (And Still Incubating, I Hope)

So the Christmas Eve ultrasound went well - Kiddo's heart rate was up to 150, and s/he was measuring 7w4d (one day ahead). The sac continued to look better, and the neural tube (where the spinal cord will grow) was visible as a thin black line in the middle of Kiddo's body.

Now I am counting down the hours to the next ultrasound, which is on Friday afternoon. It's about 64 hours away at this point. There's no reason to think anything is wrong, but I am nervous. There has been persistent brown blood almost every time I wipe, and occasionally a bit of pink, but no bright red since one week before Christmas. Most days, I've had mild nausea that usually starts around noon and lasts for most of the rest of the day.

So what's making me nervous? Well, I haven't been feeling as much round ligament pain or joint loosening the last couple of days. And I just don't feel as pregnant. I lost that "pregnant" feeling during the beginning of week 9 with pregnancy #4, and then we found out the following week that that Kiddo's heart had stopped beating during the 8th week. But then again, I also lost that "pregnant" feeling with Miss A during her 8th week, and she was still in there, heart beating strongly. My uterus is probably still too tilted to hear anything with the home Doppler that I have, so I've decided (so far - I could certainly cave at any point) not to torture myself by trying to use it.

In the meantime, plenty of other things have been keeping me occupied.

First of all was the magic of Christmas. It was wonderful with Miss A last year, but even better this year! She was able to tear the paper off her gifts much more easily, and she has several that she loved. We got her a set of traditional wooden blocks, and one of her favorite things to do is stack them high and then watch them fall over. It is the first time she has full-on belly laughed. Up until now, there have been lots and lots of giggles, but for some reason, the site of blocks falling over (even if it's just 2 or 3) brings out the biggest laugh that she has ever had. It is so much fun to experience that with her!

She also loves her little rider, complete with drum, horn, and keyboard. She rides it around the house, and we also try to go for a walk with her around the neighborhood whenever we can. It's great exercise for all of us. (And, selfishly, we always hope all that exercise leads to a long, deep nap afterward. :-) )

In addition to the holiday, the end of the year also brings our wedding anniversary. R has been putting up with me for 18 years now. We celebrated by going out to breakfast, then coming home and trying to clean up as much as possible. (These days, we've gotta take those rare opportunities when we get them!) After that, we went to a movie, which we haven't done since Miss A was born, and then out to dinner. Overall, it was a lovely day and a great chance to spend some time re-connecting one-on-one, even if it was while we were picking up the house.

The other thing that has been keeping me distracted and busy is work. We're getting ready to enter our busiest time of year tomorrow, so the last few weeks of December and first few weeks of January are always crazy busy, with an early start to the day once the year begins. (I'll be working on and off tomorrow, and starting work at 5 a.m. beginning on Thursday for the next couple of weeks.)

There have been a lot of interesting changes at work this year with a new team being formed, and figuring out how that new team will work with the existing teams, including the one that I am on. A couple of days before Christmas, one of my co-workers approached me with an offer to join the new team that has formed.

There are pros and cons to this. The particular offer she made to me is probably the only time I will get an offer like this in my career, so it warrants serious consideration. On the other hand, I feel like any time you make a transition to a new position, even if it's with a company you're already with and with colleagues you already work with, it requires stepping up your time/energy/effort commitment.

I have not talked with my co-worker about the Kiddo situation yet. We are meeting to discuss the offer some more on Friday before the ultrasound. I will probably wait to see how that goes before saying anything about it. It's still early, and I'd rather wait until the second trimester (early February) to share that news. But if I do wind up transitioning to the new team, I don't think I'll be able to wait that long. All of the colleagues I'd be working closely with are in another state, and I will need to explain that I can't travel to meet them.

We'll see what happens, both with Kiddo and with the job situation, in the new year. 2013 has been an incredible year. Here's hoping that 2014 is equally incredible, not only for us, but for all of you, especially those of you who are awaiting your miracles this coming year!