July 17, 2007

A Tiny Little Flicker of Hope...Literally

After I had blood drawn yesterday morning, I decided to call my ob/gyn and have them fit me in for an ultrasound. I wanted visual documentation of how far the pregnancy progressed so that we'd have that information for the future in case we needed it.

The blood test was inconclusive - the number (14,523) was higher than Thursday's (6,849), but the doubling time was 83 hours, which was also a lot slower than it has been (29 hours, 32 hours, 45 hours) to this point. So I didn't know if that meant the number had been higher on Sunday and was on its way down or what.

So at 4 p.m., R and I went for the ultrasound. By then, some of my symptoms had started to return. But I was still completely freaked out. And then, the moment of shock came - my ob said, "There's a sac." And, a few moments later..."And there's a heartbeat!"

I'm still trying to process it. A heartbeat. A tiny, gorgeous little flicker of light. And hope. We even got to hear the heartbeat. It was 111bpm. Ob said anything above 100 bpm is normal at this point. I thought it was supposed to be faster, but he said it should get faster during the next couple of weeks. I haven't googled it yet to see if that's really true or if he's just trying to keep me calm.

I allowed myself to be happy about this last night. And hope has certainly snuck in, in a big way. But at the same time, this makes it even more scary. I know how to deal with an early loss. I know how to deal with "I'm sorry, but the sac is abnormally shaped and it's measuring a week behind. I'm afraid there's no hope for this." I've had lots of practice. But with this, I've had no practice.

The next ultrasound is scheduled for next Monday. Ob understands that I'm going to be extremely high maintenance, so he didn't even try to suggest scheduling something further out. In the meantime, I'm going to try not to freak out quite as much about any fluctuations in my level of symptoms. We'll see how that goes...

11 comments:

grad3 said...

I know that it's scary but I hope this works for you! Remember too, that betas stop doubling when they reach acertain level, I think it's about 10,000 when it takes longer.

While the hb might be a little low you are very EARLY, so keep that in mind when you are reading and looking at info :) GL and keep us posted!

Marie-Baguette said...

these are very exciting news. And as Grad3 said, betas stop doubling after a while. And seeing the heartbeat is very very encouraging. Keeping my fingers crossed

Larisa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Larisa said...

Sorry!

I haven't clicked over in awhile. That doubling time is perfectly respectable with hCG that high. In fact, I think in that range 72-96 hours is generally fine. I know that doesn't mean much right now - and now what matters is that heartbeat.

Hoping so much for you that it just keeps on going.

Anna said...

At 6w3d the heartbeat was 117. I've seen/ read blogs where it's been faster than that and slower. I think it's fine, and you're OB is likely being straight with you. Could you ask him about the beta? I know it slows down too, but I don't remember when.

Oh, this is exciting and scary at the smae time. I'm REALLY hoping for the best for you guys. I'm keeping everything crossed, and you're all in my prayers. Please let this work for you...

Nico said...

I am SO happy that you could see the hearbeat! Ours was 108 at 6 weeks, so 111 sounds just fine to me :-) Ditto what everyone else said on the doubling time slowing down, I think your numbers are just fine.

Lucy said...

A heartbeat!!! Sweet!

Anonymous said...

JUST FANTASTIC! I'm so happy that you got the ultrasound and all appears well!! YES!! I'll keep you and your flicker in my prayers.

Best wishes!!!

www.thewaitingline.typepad.com

twirl said...

at 6w1d, ours was a maybe-barely flicker. No measurable beat until 7w.

Those little hearts begin beating slowly, and eventually they peak and then slow again. He wasn't trying to make you feel better, it's totally normal =)

Hopeful Mother said...

Big news with a heartbeat! I'm going to keep hoping right along with you for the best possible outcome on Monday.

Anna said...

Just thinking about you on the eve before your next appointment. My fingers are crossed and I'm wishing you the very best for tomorrow. You're in my thoughts and prayers.