Random Thoughts...

There seems to be a constant mish mash of thoughts running through my brain lately, and every once in a while one of them makes me think "I should blog about that." So here they are, in no particular order.

...on Stupid Things REs Say

I'm still processing last week's consult with 2nd Opinion RE. A couple of things I didn't mention in my last post:

At one point, he said, "As long as you're having miscarriages, I'm happy." I mean it - he actually uttered those exact words. "I'm happy." Are you nuts, too?? I wanted to ask. He must be, because a sane person can't possibly think that's a smart thing to say to a cynical, bitter RPLer. But then again, maybe he figured it was safe since he's 300 miles away and I couldn't exactly smack him through the phone's airwaves. I know what he was trying to say, but there's a better way to word it.

At another point in the conversation, he also compared my five miscarriages to foul balls. Technically, yes, they are strikes, he says. But even if you have 10 miscarriages strikes, you're still up to bat and you should keep trying. Yes, that was meant to be encouraging. Really.

...on Clothes Shopping with 50 Extra Pounds of Infertility Flab

For a very brief time in my life, when I was starving myself and consequently a lovely size 6, shopping was fun.

I ventured out today to try to find clothes for a couple of upcoming occasions. All I can say is What the heck are fashion designers thinking these days??

The item I have the most difficulty buying are pants. Now, please understand that I'm realistic about my size. I'd be lucky if that slinky little size 6 red dress that I had 10 years ago would fit around one of my legs with much room to spare at this point. So I don't go trying on size 10 pants when I'm, well, not a size 10.

I ventured into the dressing room with about 5 pairs of pants, and came up with the same results on all of them: Pant legs with enough extra yards of material at the bottom that a search party sent to find my feet would still be looking for them two days later, while around my waist, stomach and hips I look like a stuffed sausage about ready to explode from its casing.

My ankles don't need that much material - they aren't THAT big. So, fashion designers, please take note: Shear off some of those extra yards of fabric around my feet and move them about three feet north, where I could really use the coverage. And while you're redesigning them, could you also please figure out a style that makes me look about 30 pounds thinner? Thanks.

...on The 'Let's Try Naturally' Approach

Yes, well, about that. In order to try naturally, you need an egg. And an egg is something that my body does not seem to be in the mood to make these days.

I had an 18 day cycle last month. This month, I decided to do a CD21 progesterone blood draw to get a sense of what's going on, because I didn't see strong signs of ovulation. I got poked yesterday morning, then came home, went to the bathroom and saw blood when I wiped. It hasn't been enough to call it CD1, but still, this does not bode well.

Maybe it's just taking my ovaries a while to adjust to an infection-free environment after all the antibiotic treatment. Let's hope, anyway.

There's more, and I know you're all waiting with baited breath, but I'm going to try to get to sleep at a decent hour for once, so that's all for now...