July 31, 2012

How to Strike Fear Into Your Husband's Heart

Early on in your relationship, tell him you are fine with him being Mr. Mom if he wants, but you will be a career woman, thankyouverymuch.

Several years later, buy obnoxiously large house so that your mother can move in with you and have enough space to avoid wanting to kill each other. Try not to think about obnoxiously large utility bills that come with said house.

Rack up credit card debit trying to have kiddos.

Finally have a kiddo. Handle putting her in daycare surprisingly well.

Have a smooth first month or so back at work (at least, in terms of adapting to the whole working-mom scenario).

When kiddo comes down with a cold, spend the night sleeping on the floor next to her while she sleeps in the swing, spend the early morning hours cuddling her in the glider after a diaper change.

When it comes time to hand her sweet, smiling, but snorty and sniffly little self over to hubs so that he can take her to daycare (because she doesn't have a fever and you have no vacation days left after maternity leave), look at him and say "I don't want to work anymore."

And, "What kind of house do you think we could buy for $100,000 so that we don't have to have a mortgage anymore and I can stay home with her?" (His answer: "Not one large enough to allow all of us to continue to live together.")

Like I said, how to strike fear in your husband's heart...

Unfortunately, I don't think staying home is going to be realistically feasible for us right now, especially if we want to try for a second kiddo anytime soon. So I have moved on to plan B - get a new, higher paying job that will allow us to sock away more money so that I can stay home at some point in the future. The job hunt officially got underway today when I submitted a resume to a company I'm interested in.

I still want to keep downsizing on the table, but it will be a tough sell with R. Mostly because he just doesn't want to move again, more than a particular attachment to this house or the size of it.

Maybe we can find a compromise - I get my way with downsizing if I give him his way with only having 2 kids instead of the 3 that I was hoping for?


Silver said...

I bet that gave him a fright! I'm just about to go back to work full time after a year of part time and I think part time was the ideal for me. I wish I didn't have to go back full time but we have pretty much exactly the same reasons as you - we bought a house, with my parents, that has extended us financially as far as we can go (and further) and don't have the option to downsize as our downstairs neighbours are the reason we're living here. The money gone on treatment doesn't help much either. Is there any way you could downsize your job a bit - have money coming in but a bit more time with your wee one?

MyTwoLines said...

Wow you need to be kinder to his heart :)
Is parttime work an option? Personally I love parttime work but I also love my career and honestly did not want to leave it full time imagining I would have a very difficult time trying to reenter my field later because medicine moves so fast these days... And as much as I adore my two toddlers I don't think I could be with them 24/7...they need a break from me as much as I do from them ha!

Good luck I hope you find what you need!

Reese said...

I'm also one of those people who thinks working part time is the dream. I feel like it allows for the perfect balance between work and family. Not so much family time that you are grumpy and not so much work time that you are guilty and overwhelmed. The days when your child is feeling icky and you have to leave them are the worst. Your plan of upgrading jobs sounds like a good idea, but I wouldn't bargain away that 3rd child just yet.

Libby said...

I can just imagine your internal struggle. I would love to take a lot of time off when we finally bring a baby home, but there are a ton of factors to think about. We're also talking about if a big house is worth the big property tax bill, etc., but we don't want to feel cramped in a house that is paid for either :/ Good luck with the job search. It sounds like a good idea!