It's Official

The results were the same today, so this cycle is officially a BFN.

We're doing okay. I went to lunch and a movie with a couple of friends on Saturday, and R and I jumped into shopping for a small home improvement project on Sunday, so those things kept me from dwelling on the likely reality of today's news.

We have a consult with our RE tomorrow to review the cycle and find out if there's any more testing he wants us to do or any changes he wants to make in protocol before we do an FET. If he says it's okay and I get a period this week, I'll start Lupron again on Aug. 26 for the FET. If he wants me to wait a month or so, then the FET wouldn't be until October.

But I'm anxious to get going again, and I'm feeling great physically, so hopefully he'll let us cycle sooner rather than later. My hormones are normally out of whack, as is the nature of PCOS. I think the stims and the progesterone make my hormone levels much more balanced, because my skin has been so much more clear these past three weeks, and I feel better physically than I normally do. Silver linings, people, silver linings. I'm trying to focus on the positives.

Interestingly enough, when the clinical coordinator called to tell me the results this evening, she also mentioned that she would recommend transferring three embryos for the FET. She said she thinks there's a better chance with three than with two, but of course she also said to talk with Doc about it. Given that he offered to transfer three for our fresh cycle, he'd prbably be agreeable to it.

At the beginning of this journey, my mom kept cautioning me about all the bad things that she thought could happen - like the drugs causing cancer, or me having a "litter," etc. She would "tsk, tsk" any time we started a new protocol. Tonight, she said, "I think you should transfer back three or even four." When I reminded her that she used to be against treatment because she was afraid I'd wind up with seven or eight at once, she replied, "I'm much more educated now." And really, she is. She has a much, much better understanding of infertility and treatment processes than a lot of infertility patients themselves, much less her fellow 70-somethings.

Then I teased her that if we wound up with triplets, she'd have to pitch in to help. "Oh, I've already thought of that! I have two arms and a big lap. I'm all ready for 'em - bring 'em on!" she told me.

Easier said than done. But who knows? Maybe we will transfer three after all.