September 06, 2011

My Body Is...Functioning??

RE's office began weaning me off the meds last week, and we made the second change to the dosages over the weekend. I had blood drawn on Friday and again today. And even though we cut the PIO down to 1/2 a cc per day from 1 per day, my progesterone level rose a few points.

I've been worried that my placenta wouldn't kick in, but apparently, my body is functioning. Correctly.

I honestly don't know how to wrap my head around that. I've had, literally, 8 1/2 years of bad news about how my body doesn't function like it's supposed to, many of the malfunctions being fertility-related, others not. So this is new.

I think the best way to explain how I feel is to say "Hopeful, but not yet trusting." The analogy that keeps coming to mind is having a relative who has an addiction and decides to check himself into rehab. You're hopeful, because he's taking a positive step in the right direction, but that doesn't mean that the day he walks out of there, you're going to be 100% trusting that he'll stay on the wagon permanently without the wheels falling off at some point. Building trust takes time.

On the bright side, the ultrasound tech said that today I looked more calm than I have in the past. Apparently I've had a pretty wide-eyed, freaked out look up to this point. (Big surprise, I know!)

And I was feeling pretty calm, until we were on the way over there and I realized it's 10w4d, and the only other ultrasound we've had during the 10th week was the one at 10w2d when we found out that Baby #5's heart had stopped.

I had a few moments of panic where I thought maybe we should just skip the mid-week ultrasound this week - somehow 11w0d (Friday) sounded safer to me. (I didn't say logical, just safer...) But I kept those thoughts to myself and let R drive on.

This time, the tech was able to see Kiddo well enough through an abdominal ultrasound that she didn't need to follow it up with the transvag approach. Heart still beating, still in the 160's, legs and arms had grown and were waving around a lot.

Kiddo is measuring 2 days ahead of schedule. I just wish I could call my dad and tell him that. Today is the 4-month anniversary of his passing.

9 comments:

Reese said...

It's always a pleasant surprise to find out your body is doing something correctly. I had an obsession with placental function during pregnancy too. Your accurate count of every day of your pregnancy makes me smile; it always irritates me a little when a "normal" pregnant woman will say "oh, I don't know, 7 months or so" when I ask how far along she is. Oh, to be so carefree, right? I had to count--it kept me going. I needed constant reassurance that I was still pregnant. I also refused to round up by even a day or two. 8w5d must NEVER be rounded to 9. That was jumping the gun. Asking for it. Praying for your continued well-being and optimal body functioning. I ordered that book you recommended from Amazon today--Thanks.

Sue said...

Everything sounds great! I do think it is very hard to trust our bodies after all that we've been through...but once you finally get weaned off the meds, it is amazing to realize that your body is keeping a baby in there on its own. That you are finally a normal pregnant lady...it is awesome and I can't wait for you to experience it. Dont worry about being so reserved at this point - hopefully, soon...maybe in a month or two, you will start to enjoy it - for now, everything is scary!

Libby said...

I would be surprised too if my body did what every other woman's body seems to do with ease. This is progress though! Sorry that your dad is not a phone call away to help you celebrate. Maybe he does know though...

A said...

Glad to hear things are still looking good! Your analogy seems spot on too :) So excited for you!

Nico said...

I worry about the transition off progesterone too. SO glad to hear that your body and your baby seem to be doing their thing!

MyTwoLines said...

Hooray for your body! :)

Anonymous said...

Contests on a great ultrasound. When I finally made I past the farthest dates I'd had an ultrasound with my prior BFP, it did change things. I was still cautious but little more optimistic.

kikisf said...

My husband just hipped me to your blog. We just about 1 week behind you after many many failed attempts. I too am in disbelief that my body is...functioning, especially after we had given up on using my egg. Then next thing you now my eggs managed to spit out a good one! Best of Luck!

SLESE1014 said...

I'm so happy the body is functioning....it's a shock, I know! I hope things continue in the positive route and as always, you are in my thoughts and prayers.