An Honor (and Trying Not to Hyperventilate)

I was going to lead with a title like "We've Been Chosen", but given that you'd probably think it was related to adoption, I didn't want to be deceptive. Nor do I want to jinx us...

So, you're wondering, what is this honor? Well, we actually have been chosen (in a manner of speaking) by a couple who thinks we'd make good parents. R's best friend and his wife approached us a couple of months ago to ask us if we'd be willing to be legal guardians and take custody of their son if something (heaven forbid) should ever happen to both of them.

But they also mentioned that they were considering several other people as possible guardians, so when we didn't hear anything more about it, we assumed they'd chosen one of their other options. Then a few days ago they called to tell us that they'd made a decision, and it was us.

I have to admit, even though this is a situation where of course we hope we will never gain custody of the child involved, it still felt really nice that they chose us from among all of their options. We are truly honored.

We also have to figure out how to hang out with a 7-year-old. R hangs out with his best friend and their son frequently, so he's comfortable with R. We also spend time as a fivesome doing various things (including weekend trips), but his parents suggested that it would be good for the two of us to spend an afternoon with him (just the three of us) every once in a while. I have to admit, I had a fleeting moment of "What if he thinks we're boring/lame/hates us?" But he's a great kid, so I know it'll be fine.

That's actually not what's creating the hyperventilating. The transfer is in 10 days. Beta is in 19 days (or maybe 20, depending on how I feel about the 22nd at that time). In less than three weeks, we'll know the outcome of step 1. And then be plunged into the unknown of step 2, because either way, it's an unknown. Even if we get to step 2 of a pregnancy (meaning the day after beta), that doesn't guarantee the next day, or the day after that.

As I write this, it's just dawning on me what's causing the hyperventilating. I was thinking that coming face-to-face with the beta results - the answer to which path we'll be going down for step 2 - was what was causing it. But I think it's really the unknown of step 2, regardless of which path it is, that's bothering me.

Have I mentioned that I'm not a big fan of uncertainty and unknowns?