August 18, 2011

Emotionally Spent but Still Incubating

We wound up going in unexpectedly this afternoon. Heart rate is 167 (up from 130 last week), and Kiddo is measuring exactly on target - 7w6d.

I had been totally braced for bad news.

We weren't going to move up the appointment. But then this afternoon, there was bright red blood once again. I hadn't expected it - after 8 days of no bleeding or spotting, I thought we were over that. I was hoping that tomorrow I'd get permission to get up and start moving around. Instead, I am still on bed rest until further notice.

If the bleeding had been the only thing concerning me, I would have just crawled back in bed to see if it would slow down (there wasn't as much as some of the other times, and it is slowing down now) and waited until tomorrow.

But because of feeling normal, noticing that the stretching/pulling feelings had slowed down to pretty much non-existent by yesterday, and realizing at 5 a.m. today that I'd screwed up my estrace pill dosing for the last 4 days (more on that in a minute), I couldn't wait.

I called and texted R, but he wasn't responding. It comes in handy sometimes that he and his dad work in the same company, about 20 feet from each other, because I called his dad and asked him to track R down.

The only thing that kept me semi-calm was that I wasn't feeling much pain, and no cramping. Still, I was trying to prepare myself for bad news. Instead, the tech said "Everything couldn't look more perfect." She looked thoroughly to see what might be causing the bleeding, but still couldn't find anything.

One thing I was worried about was my estrogen level, but the peri doesn't think that would have been enough to cause a problem.

I woke up as usual in the middle of the night last night, but this time I realized I wasn't having the night sweats that I get every night. Then it dawned on me that I had forgotten to take the evening dose of my estrace.

And that led me to realize that I'd also been forgetting my morning dose for the last 4 days. I had filled my pill boxes for the week on Saturday, but I kept the estrace bottle on my nightstand to remind me of my evening dose, and I forgot to grab it when I was filling the boxes. Between two thyroid meds, Vitamin D, the extra folic acid pills, the aspirin, the dexamethasone, and the anti-depressant and probably a couple of others I'm forgetting, it's a pretty full, colorful box of pills, and I just didn't notice.

I am still doing four patches every other day, though, and I was only missing one dose of the pills a day, so I imagine my level dropped a little bit but hopefully not enough to really cause a problem.

RE's nurse wouldn't commit to saying "no" when I asked outright "This won't hurt the pregnancy, will it?" But the peri doesn't seem to think it would.

The next ultrasound is in 8 days (next Friday), although the peri said they will absolutely fit us in earlier if the need arises.

Can someone make it be spring already? Please? Anyone?


Sue said...

OMG, that is too much! I am so so happy that things are going great!!! And, I know it is all worth it in the end...but this really is cruel. I can't even imagine the roller coaster you are on. All I can say is hang in there. I am glad you have a peri who is willing to see you when necessary b/c it is almost ridiculous how many scares this is giving you. Don't worry too much about the estrace, lots of people already start weaning in the next week or so (and you will probably start to soon too, given CCRM's system), so try not to let it worry you. THe rest of it is just going to be least for a few more weeks. I am so looking forward to that 13 week mark for you. After that, hopefully, it is easier and more enjoyable!

Nic said...

I have to say, I hold my breath every time I see a post from you. So glad that things are still chugging along. Did you ever read "coming to term"? The book looks at a whole bunch of different ideas on how to "solve" RPL, and the research on each. The one thing them come up with that helps is TLC from your care providers. And it really seems like you're getting that. So hopefully hopefully...

MyTwoLines said...

Yippy for that wonderful ultrasound! Hold on to that great feeling!