August 11, 2011

Today's Sign Said...

Continue to see where this path takes us.

The embryo measured 7w0d (today is 6w6d), and the heart rate increased from 102 last week to 130. The ultrasound tech, who was the same one as last week, said she could also see the beginning of something (I have no idea what, I was too busy trying to soak in the fact that there's still a heartbeat) that is the next thing that's supposed to develop, so that's a good sign.

She still couldn't see any sign of what might be causing the bleeding, but she said subchorionic hematomas can be difficult to spot, especially if they're small, and if I bled it out, it wouldn't be visible.

We met with the perinatologist for the first time. I liked her. She talked through each of my issues, and the entire appointment from start to finish took more than 2 hours.

She doesn't think the Lovenox and aspirin are necessarily related to the bleeding, so I need to talk with the RI's office about those. She does not appear to be a fan of IVIg, but she did say it was our choice whether to continue doing it. (We will.) I'm supposed to stay on bedrest for the forseeable future.

The medical assistant who went over the paperwork I filled out before the nurse came in mentioned that I'll have to get registered at the hospital at some point. I think she said 20 weeks. That's so far from my mind, I wasn't really paying attention.

As soon as she said it, I had a total reaction and kind of caught her off guard. I told her not to jinx things and that if I get to 30 weeks - if!! - then maybe we can discuss that kind of stuff. Apparently I would have to do it before then (again, if we make it that far, still not wanting to jinx it by thinking so far ahead) because they need me to be registered there in case something happens and I have to go in early. But seriously, did we need to talk about that now, when I'm still one day shy of 7 weeks??

And due dates. Okay, seriously people, they keep insisting on talking about this. Last week the ultrasound tech told us. (I refuse to say what it is, so just look at July 13 as 2w5d and count forward from there if you really want to know.) Today when the doctor finished examining me, she said it, but she posed it as a question for me to confirm.

I think my face blanched.

I explained that we made the mistake of calculating the due date on the very first pregnancy, and it just became a painful day, so we don't like to know anymore. I suppose it's no surprise, then, that later on in the conversation she asked if I have a therapist...

And then we got to the checkout desk and had to make appointments. Plural. The peri had told us to go ahead and book weekly appointments for the next month or so.

I couldn't do it. It just seems too audacious to assume I'm going to need that many appointments.

R finally talked me into making two appointments and suggested that starting next week, each week we'll just make one more appointment, so we'll always have two booked, we'll just be able to book them one at a time from this point on. He doesn't try to fight the crazy anymore - he knows it's just better to work with it. :-)

It seemed like a semi-decent compromise, so I took a deep breath, tried to relax, and told the lady working at the desk that we wanted to make appointments for the next two Fridays.

Her response (with a cheery smile): "Sure, no problem. What's your due date?"

Does anyone know how to selectively erase something (a date) from one's brain?


Sue said...

I know. They have NO IDEA what it is like. And, if you even try to explain it to them, they get all blank and you can almost hear a "why is she making such a big deal out of this?" come out of their head. I just love feeling crazy like that. However, that being are plugging along!!!! I am excited to see (with time) the hesitancy finally start to become excitement. I think that WHEN you make it to 20 weeks, you are going to have to give in and start to enjoy it!!!!! Until then, I totally get it. Just take it day by day, appt by appt...and they will push that due date thing every single chance they get.

Oh...and I still remember telling my old OB's nurse when she asked when my LMP was that we did IVF and she was like, "what is that? I just want to know when you had your last menstrual period"....I was like, well, if that is all, considering I did a medicated FET, um, a few months ago? Ugh. WHy do they have to be so ignorant? It made me feel so ostracised.

Libby said...

Good news! And you are not crazy. This is super hard stuff you are dealing with. I'm just glad your appointment gave you the confirmation that we all wanted for you.

I don't like due dates either, and I think that is completely natural and not warranting a therapist when you've been disappointed so many times. They really don't get it which is makes it all the harder for you.

Nic said...

yippee for another day you get to be on the crazy trail :) I'm so surprised that they are so not understanding about talking to you about your DD. With my m/c we had just scheduled our NT and level II u/s appointments, which made those days so much harder. I'm all for two appointments at a time! xox

SLESE1014 said...

At my first appointment, they were asking about scheduling my 20 week ultrasound....I completely freaked. I was like can I get through the first trimester before we go there? These people just don't get it...They've figured out that I only make one appointment at a time. They're not happy with it, but well, my Dr knows me and put a note in my chart to let me run the show :).

So happy the heartbeat is still chugging along!!! Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!!

Hopeful Mother said...

I was checking all afternoon hoping for an update. SO HAPPY to hear that things are still trucking along!

Silver said...

It's all sounding good so far! I totally understand about the due date thing - we knew our due date for the first pregnancy (I wrote about it here: and it has been a source of sadness ever since, so I went to great lengths NOT to find out for the subsequent ones. I was very lucky that my first US for the successful pg was with the clinic where we did the treatment, with a long-serving IVF nurse. Subsequently, we had a mixed bag - one male US tech who was BRILLIANT - always went straight to the heartbeat before anything else. Had one pitched battle where an US tech demanded to know my LMP to calculate my due date and despite trying to explain the IVF thing to her she was having none of it, in the end I told her and enjoyed watching her trying to make sense of the fact that what she saw on the screen was a good 3 months behind what my LMP suggested :-) hee, hee!