August 02, 2011

More Bleeding

I don' t think this is going to work.

I think this is the beginning of the end.

I think I' m going to be sick. And not because of morning sickness.

There was a perfect lining, two perfect blasts.

Why won't my body work right?

How do I learn to live with not knowing the answer to that question?

7 comments:

Sue said...

I am sick for you and still trying to be hopeful. This process sucks so much. Why can't it be easy just this once? I still hope you get that u/s and that things look good...and that the bleeding is something unrelated to loss. I don't even know what to say b/c this is more than anyone should have to go through. Hugs.

Jay said...

How far along are you? I so hope you can get an ultrasound soon to see what is going on. Hugs. I'm so sorry...this uncertainity, fear and limbo sucks, and what you have gone through nobody should have to go through.

Silver said...

Oh ****! I just want things to be straightforward for you. I'm not going to tell you not to worry or list all the things it could that aren't the end because I know it doesn't help - you know all that. What you need now is a) another beta and b) an ultrasound so that you can get some way to sorting out the uncertainty. Will continue to cross everything and think of you.

Patience said...

I am so very sorry. I've been there. I don't have any words of wisdom or hope- but know that you are in my thoughts. Hugs my friend!

Libby said...

I'm sorry there is so much uncertainty in all of this. Like it's not bad enough that you have to go to such extremes to become pregnant :( I so hope your uterus is just being bitchy and that your pregnancy is indeed moving forward.

MyTwoLines said...

Oh hon. That last line got me because I had to learn to live with the knowledge that a bio baby wasn't in the cards for me, that my body just couldn't do it. And it was hard, but not impossible.

I hope you get some answers soon, and I'm just so so sorry you have to go through this.

Emily Erin said...

Wishing you strength to cope with more challenge whichever way this turns out; hoping that when the u/s happens you get good news, but not wanting to blow sunshine. Holding good thoughts.